I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
