My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
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