She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
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