I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
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