Non-Jews are for practice
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Randomize
