i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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