Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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