Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
