just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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