Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
