i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Randomize
