Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Randomize
