i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Randomize
