Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
