i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
So many bounce houses so little time
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
and you fell through a lawn chair
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Randomize
