So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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