question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Randomize
