well I can't set my house on fire every night
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
