Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
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