I looked at my own cervix.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
