what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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