i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
