i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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