yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Randomize
