The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
