i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Randomize
