Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
