Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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