This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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