Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
