bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I need water and some morals
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
