And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
