can u get pink eye on your cock?
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
