I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
