I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Randomize
