The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I could fuck to npr.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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