Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
A+ Viking dick
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
