A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
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