Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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