I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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