Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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