Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
