she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
