Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
