i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
You can't just leave with hair like that
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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