I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
