Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Randomize
