just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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