therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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