my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
