make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
